I'll See Your Country and Raise You a Prince


Turn up the volume real loud for maximum effect

There I was this morning, slumbering peacefully in my little bed around 9:30, sleeping off the remnants of the office party bucket o' Scotch I drank last night.
Then woe is me, I was awakened with a shock.
It seems the new renter next door decided to wash his pick-up truck in the driveway next to my living room windows, with a very loud country music accompaniment. I'm not sure who was singing, but it was twangy and corny and super loud and annoying.
I stood it for about 5 minutes, then I pulled out my secret weapon, Prince's Greatest Hits.
There's something about playing Prince at level 10 on the 10 level volume control, after carefully positioning all four speakers against the windows facing his truck.
"Purple Rain" was one of the tamer songs, believe me. I think "You Sexy Motherfucka" was probably my favorite anecdote to his cornball country crap.
He turned his music down a little, but if he turns it back up, I just hope he likes Lakme or Carmen, because they're next up.
This is the same guy I had to call the cops on recently because he and his live-in girlfriend were having a violent verbal outburst in that same driveway. Why can't trailer trash renters go inside to duke it out?
Ugh. I wish Scrotum Face Pete, the owner of the house next door, would sell it to a couple of old queens who'd keep the place up nicely and bring over warm cookies once in a while.