Rain Coverage, Go Away

These damn local TV stations are still broadcasting nonstop weather crisis news and it hasn't rained a drop today.
I had planned to watch Passions, and all week it's been TV meat puppets in raincoats, standing on bridges with water swooshing by in the background.
All right, already, we get it.
By now, any kid who gets swept away in a storm drain is just asking for it.
Anyone's whose car is stuck in a low water crossing is just too dumb to get it.
Anyone who hasn't adjusted his automatic sprinklers by now needs to be whipped with a garden hose.
So I turn to the Discovery channel and what do I get? A fucking special on tsunamis. Like I need to see more water wreaking havoc.
So I turn to my old standard, the Food Network. And who is it? Emeril Lagasse, again. He must be on TV 12 hours a day. And what's he making? Seafood, which comes from where? The water.
I give up. I'm gonna go outside and grill something.