Wednesday, July 03, 2002

Errr Now I'm Really Pissed

So, after my abortive attempt to watch TV, I go out to get the mail and my long awaited book had arrived.
After reading Sarah Waters (ugh more waters) excellent book, "Tipping the Velvet," I quickly ordered her book called, "Affinity."
Ripping the box open, I hunkered down, ready to read my way through the holiday.
Wait. What's this?
The bitch uses ampersands instead of spelling out the word 'and' throughout the whole damn book. What kind of writing is this?
I was so distracted by the "&'s" every five words, I decided to go to Burger King and try one of those backyard grillers they keep advertising. They are pretty good, but the buns are surprisingly petite. They look so big on TV, but I guess like they say, buns look bigger on TV.
Maybe after wolfing down some red meat, I'll be calmer and able to handle all those fucking ampersands and read this book. If not, I will probably write an online review at Amazon and blast Ms. Waters for her annoying, slapdash shortcut.
It's not even a nice ampersand, it looks like a script capital E.
Between all the new words like yo and bee-yitch and baby mama and hym and hys and now this ampersand bullshit, it makes me want to become a word vigilante who roams the country, thwacking those who take such grotesque liberties with the language and its punctuation. Buncha idiomaniac bastards!

No comments: