Tuesday, October 08, 2002

Cringe-o-Meter

Do you have a Cringe-o-Meter?
You know, when things are going fine in a conversation and the person with whom you are conversing says or does something that makes you want to smack him or her in the face with a rolled up magazine?
Besides the dreaded "finger quotes," another gesture bound to send my Cringe-o-Meter into the red zone is putting one's index finger into one's cheek and making a twisting motion to indicate where a dimple might be. What the fuck is that all about, anyway?
I think it means, "Aren't I cute?" and the answer is, "No, you are not."
Certain words also set me off, most notably, "nucular" instead of "nuclear," "wif" instead of "with," and "da" instead of "the."
More phrases: "revert back to," "happy, happy- joy, joy," "widdle girl's/boy's woom" the dreaded "I sowwy," "Anyone?... Anyone?," "I'm your Huckleberry" and who can forget "WHASSSSSUUUUP!"
I am amazed more people don't openly object to these sorts of assaults to the senses.
They need to stop and I mean it.
Can you hear me now?

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