Thursday, December 11, 2003

Tonight's Survivor!

Folks, we are down to the stems and seeds, and nobody in particular stands out as a deserving winner.
What we have in abundant supply are castaways worthy of losing, most obviously Jon, the lying, grandma-killing, bad karma attracting weasel; Burton, the mama's boy/control freak; and Lil, the wobbly-chinned pity party girl in those saggy old lady panties that make all of us kack-up like a kitty with a hairball.
One semi-deserving player left is Sandra, for her occasional insight, spying in the bushes and her amusing use of the terms 'bitch' and 'muthafucka' hurled toward Jon (I love how poorly the bleepers disguise her profane tirades).
Then there's Darrah, whose grating Mississippi accent is mitigated by her astonishingly beautiful white teeth, which she's somehow maintained without benefit of a toothbrush or toothpaste.

It's been an ordeal to try to guess the next outcast in this Panama series.

There has been no logic, no plan, no sturdy alliances, no crafty tricks, except...okay...
I hate to admit it but Jon has consistently outfoxed everyone.
He is amoral, pathologically dishonest, unabashedly arrogant, decidedly unattractive, immature, braggadocios, lazy, shiftless, contributes nothing in the way of food, shelter or labor to Camp Balboa, is egotistical for no apparent reason, and considers himself a "great date" because he's a self-described connoisseur of fine cuisine, who then had the mendacity to order chicken fingers,
cheeseburgers and hackneyed old filet mignon at the fancy resort restaurant he lucked into after Lil and Darrah successfully dragged his scrawny ass through the reward challenge.

Still, hope springs eternal, so I am guessing the girls finally wise up and boot off either Burton or Jon.
And if they don't, they are all just too plain damn stupid to win.
Damn, I miss Rupert.
Your guess?

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