Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Survivor! Apprentice!

Last week, Chad, Chris, Sarge and Rory tried to oust Ami, who happens to be my favorite.
The four boys failed, because Ami, Eliza, Julie, Leann, Scout and Twila voted to oust Rory.
My best friend Anna liked Rory but didn't like Ami. She is not gay and she loves Motown music, so that explains why.
We almost had a fight over it but I was too lazy to get up and get in her face, so we had ice cream instead. Then we forgot to finish the fight because (1) Ami appeared in that bikini and I became transfixed and (2) Anna has the attention span of a three-day-old puppy.
Rory's overdue departure leaves three boys and six girls left, meaning one of those boys is gonna get it.
Who can it be?
It won't be Chad because he is one-legged and the girls are...well, they're girls.
Chris has the biggest grudge toward Ami, and Ami is the Queen of the Island who Must Not Be Dissed.
Sarge was very dour last episode, and girls don't like dour.
The vote?
All three men against Ami, because they are afraid of the mythical lure of Sappho.
The women will go after either Chris or Sarge, probably Chris.
Or Sarge.

On the Apprentice:
That idiot Chris shot off his mouth in the boardroom last week, earning a seething sneer from Carolyn, a tongue lashing from Trump and a gassy scowl from that other guy.
He's gonna be the project manager for this episode, but with Carolyn's panties already in a wad, Trump already thinking he's an ass, and the project being something about a bridal salon, he's a dead man walking.
Someone gets into a wreck driving some kind of delivery van, but that will end up being Chris's fault because he is pre-marked with the slash of Carolyn.
Everyone can breathe easily and kick back and do a half-assed job because, like Survivor, this will be a bad night for anyone named Chris.
Who do you pick?

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