Saturday, July 13, 2002

Last Night I Couldn't Sleep
(so what else is new?)

I suppose I could have gone into a chatroom and talk to other insomniacs last night, but after Tracy's horror blog about chatrooms, I was reminded that they are worse than bars. At least in bars you can see what the lunatics look like.
When I was new to the Internet, I was fascinated by chatrooms.
Then I realized I attract borderlines and sociopaths like white cat fur to dark velvet. Either that or women who want to nuture/suffocate and fall in love on the spot. You know, the kind who immediately fill your e-mailbox with cards and long letters and call you darling before they know your last name. Eeuuuww.

After dinner last night, while I was waiting for the valet parking dweebs to bring my car, this guy pulled up in a huge, high gloss Ford F250 4x4 four-door pickup with chrome wheels and extra large new tires.
His lady friend got out first and I asked her if they actually ever took the truck off-road. She rolled her eyes and said, "I know nothing about this truck, I'm from Atlanta."
Then the guy got out and he was about 5'4" with a dorky little face and a nerdy haircut.
I figured he must have a 3" penis to have to drive a ride like that, and I also figured they met on the Internet and this was his one chance to try to get laid. She was blonde and pretty, and there was no way she was going to let Midgie boy get his damp elfin paws on her.
Then I realized I took Zed to the same restaurant when she was here from Canada, hoping for the same results as Midgie boy.
Our evening turned out undoubtedly better, and I didn't even need a big ass truck.

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