Saturday, December 08, 2001

THE SAGITTARIUS LESBIAN

Given an audience and enough caffeine, a Sagittarius lesbian will talk herself to death.
Add some beer or Scotch and she might just drink herself over the edge.
Sagittarius lesbians are the adventure girls of the zodiac. Even the femmes give off a masculine sort of independence. The assume every woman is a feminist and loudly criticize those who aren't.
Easily bored with details, the Sagittarius likes the big picture, fast talking, fast driving, fast sports, fast food and fast women.
They may seem klutzy in their approach to life, but they are really just direct. Very direct. Some say too direct.
Take the ethereal, gentle, mercurial, heady Gemini and totally reverse that to get a feel for Sagittarius. The Sagittarius, oldest of the fire signs, wants to slap most Geminis for being so damned airy.
Sagittarius needs fun and excitement. They need to be around happy, carefree types lest they slip into one of their inconsolable black moods, which is pitiful to witness.
Your Sagittarius friend or lover might pretend to listen to your tales of woe, but save them for someone like Pisces or Cancer, who will truly sympathize. Sagittarius likes headlines, not detailed accounts of your story, whatever it is.
To make a Sagittarius laugh, put on a Martha Stewart Living video and watch her react to all the nitpicking and perfectionism. She'll think it's a comedy spoof.
If you're looking for hearts and flowers romance, keep looking because Sagittarius will be your best friend and lover, but she won't ever be the mushy, heart on her sleeve type.
They make great friends because their loyalty is carved in stone, and they won't care if you call them at 3 a.m. to help you fix a flat, or go have a burger.
If you're looking for a permanent relationship, don't bother with a Sag if you are the possessive or insecure type. They'll make you crazy with friends and family and coworkers and strangers being given the same priority as you.
Oh they are faithful, usually, they just don't need a lover to be the center of their universe. They and their interests are the center of their universe.
To seduce a Sagittarius, be her friend and lover. Be ready for adventure on a moment's notice. Make her laugh. Try not to notice she's a know-it-all.
To dump a Sagittarius, be cheap, be negative, demand she cuddle you, hang on her in public, crowd her, and be as clingy as possible.
The swoosh you hear will be the airplane she's on, flying out of your life.

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