Thursday, February 14, 2002

Olympics: Nasty, Dirty Ice

Damn it. The ice skating events are my favorites and the Russians and that lowlife French seahag judge fucked them up for all us this Olympics.
The Russians just took silver and gold for the men's event.
Gee, what a shock.
Okay, granted, the favorite was Russian Alexi Yagudin, and he did skate a stunningly fabulous program.
Too bad his dishonest comrades in the judging box have already tainted the sport and cast aspersions on even his performance.
These Olympics will not be about Yagudin's stunning performance.
It will be about Canadians Jamie Sales and David Pelletier getting screwed out of well-earned gold by the lesser Russian pair. Quick- what are the Russian pairs' names? Who cares? Let's just call them Boris Screwjavic and Natasha Fuckuova.
That big dyke Ross the intern from Jay Leno interviewed Sales and Pelletier the other night about Skategate, and they were very gracious not to rip the crooked judges, even though Ross tried her best to goad them into it.
One of the highlights after the skating screw job was watching Canuck rockers Bare Naked Ladies with Sales and Pelletier on stage with them, joining in a rendition of the Kinks song "You Really Got Me."
I guess in the Russian House, Screwjavic and Fuckyaova were listening to the Soviet national orchestra's recording of "March of the Volga Boatmen" (aka 'Yo, heave ho') with their depressing, vodka soaked comrades.
And one more thing.
Costumes designed with ragged, diaphanous chiffon look like hell on men skaters. Those French and Russian men skaters need to butch it up and stop trying to look like Nureyev doing Swan Lake.



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