Application: Be My New Girlfriend

Name:
Real Name:
City and State:
Age:
Real Age:

1. Is your ex still underfoot? If so, why?
2. Do you have a job or income source?
3. Just how crazy are you? What meds are you on?
4. How many dogs do you have? Do they sleep with you?
5. How many cats do you have? Do they sleep with you?
6. You don't have any snakes, reptiles or other creepy pets, do you?
7. Has anyone ever accused you of stalking them?
8. Do you have all your fingers, toes, feet, arms and stuff?
9. Do your eyes focus in the same direction?
10. You don't make "finger quotes," do you?
11. What sign are you?
12. Do your subjects and verbs agree?
13. Do you know how to use spellcheck?
14. When you enter a chatroom, do more than 50% say hi to you?
15. Do you have your own hair and teeth?
16. On a 1-10 scale, with 10 being Jesse Ventura, how butch are you?
17. On a 1-10 scale, with 1 being Barbie, how femme are you?
18. What percentage of things you say are lies?
19. If 1 is Michelle Pfeiffer and 10 is Mike Tyson, how nice looking are you?
20. What's your most disgusting habit?