What Am I, a Chicken?

Lately I've been waking up at around 4 a.m.
I may not intend to awaken at that ungodly hour, but James my mountain lion sized kitten senses my stirring and starts talking to me and stomping around the bed with his Clydesdale-sized kitty paws.
By then it's too late to try to go back to sleep. James senses breakfast is on the way and he cannot be deterred. So I am up and he's happily crunching his kibble.
This afternoon I have an assignment I am sort of dreading.
I am going to participate in a focus group on insect repellents and extermination products.
I don't have many bugs in my home, but South Texas is famous for something called a water bug or a palmetto, which is like a super heavy weight cockroach.
With rain comes water bugs. They are fairly harmless, but still horrifying due to their enormous size. I usually see one or two a week in the summer.
Orkin Pest Control has a great ad out, where a lady is luxuriating in a bathtub and a big bug crawls across the screen, only to be sprayed by an Orkin man. James always falls for that ad and goes after the TV screen, which I find very encouraging.
I don't even use bug sprays. I use powdered boric acid, forcing it into every nook and cranny of the floor and cabinets. It's not harmful to pets and has no odor.
The powder gets on a bug's back and suffocates him.
I think this blog may have dipped below the haircut blog in content.
I hope nobody's eating breakfast while they read this.