The Vice Presidential Debate
Tonight from 8 p.m. to 9:30 p.m. central, America will get to watch charismatic, somewhat adorable Senator John Edwards square off against Vice Resident Dick "Go Fuck Yourself" Cheney.
With so many news channels vying for your viewing time, do yourself a favor and catch the debate on C-Span.
C-Span offers an unmoderated vantage point, so you can skip the frantic punditry and draw your own conclusions.
For the debate between Bush and Senator Kerry, they offered split screen viewing as well, though I'm not sure the VP debate format will require that feature.
This could be the only substantive debate of the election.
While Dick "GFY" Cheney is by no means a charmer, he does possess twice the intellect of Bush, so we will be spared the national embarrassment of the long, clueless pauses, the deer in the headlights stare and the immature twitchiness, impatience and bluster of his so-called boss.
On the other hand, Senator Edwards will be reminding Cheney and the nation of Cheney's continuing paycheck from Halliburton, and the $10 billion+ Halliburton has made off the Iraq war in sealed, no bid contracts. Cheney also cashed in $20 million in stock when he left the helm of Halliburton to become VP.
As a wildly successful litigator before he became a U.S. Senator, Edwards is expected to use his skills to spar and jab at the older heart patient.
Cheney, on the other hand, is not afraid to take the gloves off, a skill he may need to retrieve tiny nitroglycerine pills once his heart starts acting up over the pressure of Edwards' full frontal assault.
In anticipation of the next two debates between Senator Kerry and the chimp-like Bush, I expect the neo-con pandering media to give the edge to Cheney.
After the debate, be sure to log on and vote in the instant polls, and start the momentum for a fair and balanced assessment of the debate.