Sunday, September 28, 2008

Palin: Some Fads Don't Last

I'm almost embarrassed to admit it, but when I was 15 my first girlfriend and I went down to the Municipal Auditorium in San Antonio to see Tiny Tim in concert.
He was all the rage back then, and we felt sort of hip going to see the New York Jewish hippy with the dubious sexual orientation.
Alas, once he regaled the crowd with his smash hit, "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" we were forced to sit through several more of his falsetto renditions until the concert came to its ignoble end.
The Republicans, thirsty for some kind of--any kind of-- relief from the ennui and the mediocrity of their slate of candidates, welcomed Sarah Palin to the ticket, hoping she'd galvanize the evangelicals who didn't care for McCain's philandering or his pandering to nuts like John Hagee.
Sarah Barracuda was purty, witty and like McCain, fashioned herself as a true maverick!
Having had two sisters who lived in Fairbanks for a time, anyone who can brave that climate and endure 23 hours of darkness in the winter and 23 hours of daylight in the summer would be a maverick by lower 48 standards.

But, like Tiny Tim, we've had enough time to gawk at Palin and listen to her warble, and the novelty has worn thin.
When Tim sensed his 15 minutes were waning, he conned Miss Vicki into marrying him on The Tonight Show. Johnny Carson was happy to host the wedding. He knew a ratings boost when he saw one.
And so it is with Sarah Palin, who, rumor has it, is planning a pre-election shotgun wedding between her pregnant daughter Bristol and her self-described "fuckin' redneck" fiancee/baby daddy Levi Johnston.
Oh yes we will watch, just like we watched Tiny Tim marry Miss Vicki.
And we will talk about it the next day as well.
But what Palin and her Grandpa McCain don't understand is, the talk won't be flattering.
It'll be as lurid as the circumstances merit.
It'll be about trailer trash and bad parenting and doom forecasting for the survival of the marriage.
It'll be just like Tiny Tim marrying the hapless Miss Vicki- a train wreck we got to watch.

And it will only prove once again that the Palins are the laughingstock of anyone with even half a brain.


Anonymous said...

I remember seeing that wedding on TeeVee - OMG it was SUCH a big deal.

Then no one cared about Tiny Tim a few days later.

Another thing to consider is how unbelievably desperate a move that is, for them to have the wedding BEFORE the election, y'know? I mean it just smacks of such obvious desperation.

And it's TACKY as all get-out. If they want to be consistent, they should hold it on the Jerry Springer show.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Tacky is a word that should be revived for this Palin crowd.
Trailer trash is just too easy- we need more adjectives.

Anonymous said...

I would hope that after the shaming they've taken from the McCain/Palin campaign, the media wouldn't fall with this tacky tactic.

Anonymous said...

DCup, I would hope so too, but logic tells me they won't be able to resist.

Anonymous said...

Oh ye of little faith.

I think it's pretty clear by now the media knows that McCain and Palin are jokes.
Even the Fox News meat puppets are taking shots at them.
When Fox let Bush & Dick get by with everything, I thought McCain and Palin would be a shoo-in. But even Fox has drawn the line.
The media gave Palin all the chances she could have wanted by having softball players like Gibson and Couric and that Fox News guy interview her.
But when Couric and Gibson were able to hamstring her without even trying, ratings soared and the rest of the media tasted blood.

It's become a ratings bonanza to watch Palin stick her foot up her own ass.
Ads shown during next Thursday's debate will cost as much as Superbowl ads, I bet.

Anonymous said...

Has anyone noticed that no mention has been made of whether Bristol Palin has graduated from or is currently attending high school?
We know she was not enrolled in school for at least five months last year (she was afflicted with, ahem, triggonatal mononucleosis)but did she end up dropping out or what?
I think her teen pregnancy ended up being a double statistic-
a pregnant drop-out.
Oh, well.
Maybe her mother's alma mater the University of I-da-ho will accept her GED and admit her as a legacy applicant.

Here's a riddle I just made up.
Q: What's the difference between a firey collision and the Palin family?
A: One is a bright crash.

Fran said...

Oooh- Bristol Palin, high school. Damn, you are good.

Tiny Tim and Miss Vicki, that is priceless dear Karen.

Anonymous said...

i saw tiny tim! in fact, it was after he got married, and miss vicky was in the wings. it was in a hotel, where you sat at tables. our table was right up against the stage, so we had an excellent view of tiny tim and of miss vicky. i remember thinking that she looked like some kind of scrawny, wounded bird.
i don't think that the capt underpants campaign will get what they want out of this wedding. i think the media is nervous about how they treat bristol, so they might choose to just mention that she got married and nothing else. i don't think there will be any bounce, other than the belly of the bride. if anything, i think it will prove to be a negative. i don't think that the fundies, in their heart of hearts, condone bristol getting knocked up, and i doubt that any of the pundits will be lining up to applaud the union.

BadTux said...

Looking at wedding plans, I suggest the classic "Barbecue Wedding" (rather than the classy Wal-Mart wedding), which takes place in the back yard with a dead pig and baked beans and potato salad and a lot of Bud and Bud Lite to get everybody well lubricated. Saves the embarrassment of having to take your shotguns into Wal-Mart to make sure that the groom doesn't take off like Carl Lewis "feets don't let me down!", and is suitably classy for these snowbillies.

The to-be-happy couple is registered at Walmart. Plumbing supplies, kitchen equipment, and power tools suggested. Suggested dress is overalls and a long-sleeve button-up shirt for men, gingham dresses for women. Bring your own lawn chairs, any flasks of hard likker ya wana bring, and any vittles you'd like to see that ain't on the above list. See ya there!

- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

Anonymous said...

Or BadTux like this wedding?

Anonymous said...

Too perfect - Amy Poehler is pregnant. I can see the wedding skit on SNL already. They need to get that greasy, creepily handsome Billy Ray Cyrus to play Todd Palin.

Distributorcap said...

Ads shown during next Thursday's debate will cost as much as Superbowl ads, I bet.

bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha --- and i priced them for this week!

Anonymous said...

Now if only Palin would play the ukulele. Now that would be the icing on the cake.

dguzman said...

I still remember watching Tiny Tim sing "Highway to Hell" on MTV. Holy shit, I had nightmares for weeks.

Palin gives me the same nightmares.